Views from the Copper Vu

We’ve debated whether or not the content of the following blog ought to be available to the general public. After some deliberation, we decided that it was simply too good not to share, if not for tourism/vacationing information then possibly just for its scintillating shock factor.  Still, for legal purposes we’ve included the following warning and urge our readership to carefully consider and proceed with caution.

—Warning—

The following material may not be suitable for children or those with a weak constitution or strong morals.  It should be avoided by children and the elderly.  If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, have a heart condition or any other serious condition please consult doctor before use.

I suppose it began down a random and relatively remote street in San Fran.  We were on a hot date and we were on foot.  We were looking for the Golden Gate Bridge.  We were hopelessly lost.  And we were falling in love.  The street we chose to pursue our course on apparently had specific building codes and business requirements.  You may or may not be familiar with the animal services/dirty motel district in East San Francisco.  Well, we were traipsing through its hub and somewhere between Fido’s Grooming, TenderPaws Vet, Sweetheart Inn and Suites, Pay-By-the-Hour Classy Motel, and the slowly setting sun, we decided that solely for the sake of survival it might have become necessary to find a vacancy… Completely innocent.  Completely.  (The only thing really dirty in this scenario would have been the room…)  Which then got us joking about how funny it would be if you did actually spend your first night together in some dump.  Picture the blushing bride, radiant in her unblemished, white dress, whisked away by her handsome prince amid the farewell cheers of friends and family, driving off into the sunset of their dreams, only to park in the dimly lit lot of the Queasy Bottom Motel— neon light from the vacancy sign casting obscure shadows, a cat screeches and jumps from a behind a group of metal, overflowing trash cans in the side alley.  A dirty, yellow smoke hangs in the air as Mr. Newlywed carries his wife from the car to door #3A (crookedly hung, of course), “Here we are, Honey!”

At the time the prospect of marriage was still at a safe distance and the joke was, therefore, comfortably hilarious.  Fast forward a bit, we’re engaged and planning the post-reception activities… it still seemed like a good joke…  fast forward a bit further and we’re driving away, me the blushing bride, Jason the handsome prince, absolutely no reservations with our names on it anywhere in the state… No longer a joke and no turning back.

After driving around about 45 minutes through the dankest parts of town, we found our gem… we’ll spare you too many details, but enjoy the following photo journal of marital bliss via the (-5 star) Cooper Vu Motel.  

Air conditioning and color tv!  I’m sure the only reason the “No” before “Vacancy” wasn’t lit up was because it wasn’t tourist season.

We stayed in room 10, of 10.

We had to put down a separate deposit to get the remote… $5.

Bed bugs? Probably.

Stains? Obviously.

No, we didn’t use this shower.

Gross.

Mmmm… memories.

Who wouldn’t want to wake up and step outside to this view everyday?  Truly, we spared no expense… we wanted it to be special… and oh, it was.  It was.

Not pictured, and possibly the most disturbing thing about the whole night, the two eleventeen year-old girls who decided the Copper Vu would be a good place to come trick-or-treating after dark (yes, for those of you detail-oriented readers, we did get married the day before Halloween, but in Utah, when Halloween falls on a Sunday they celebrate it on Saturday night).

*If you are a friend of Jessica’s and you were offended, then Jason wrote this.  If you are a friend of Jason’s and you were offended, then Jessica wrote it.  If you’re both of our friends, then you weren’t offended… you know better already.